Six Degrees of Separation (Part 2: Suicidal)

Only Lord knows how much crazy I am now. Delusional, depressed and I thinking of suicide. I think I can no longer hold it anymore as my world is turning upside down. Thanks to the stupid mouth of my best friend Lenny, now I am thinking of her so hard. Can you imagine how stupid for someone to even said the name of someone who broke our heart after we're trying to fix our heart here? Grow up Lenny! 

Now I am sitting on my usual booth in my place (Bar, of course) all alone and depressed after I ran away from my douchebag friends just now. I call up Cindy, the another bartender at my place and order the stupidest request I ever asked, the most luxury and pain in the ass expansive 35 years old Famous Grouse and I drink it all by myself. I try to drown myself by getting drunk as a donkey that night but the pain is just too hard and it demands to be felt by me. As I am going to hit my third glass of my scotch, my three friends James, Ken and Andrew including the douchey Lenny. I say "Get the hell out of here!!" everyone in the bar startled in silence and the bar goes mute just like my laptop when I am trying to view some inappropriate videos back in my adolescence years.

 James or Jimmy comes and put his arms around my shoulder, "Chill off Dan. You're gonna scare every single hottie in this bar if you keep on shouting like that. Come on bro, I want to hit on someone tonight and at least some of us would be happy. haha!" This Jimmy guy is really funny though, I can't help it but smiled and chuckled a little bit. Then Ken says "Dude, forget about that Amy chick already. Like seriously you're better off without her." "Yeah, man. I know how much you like older women, what about I set you up with my 31 years old sister. She has been single for too long and seriously, I really want a nephew or two. haha!" Said Andrew to cheer me up a little bit but I was offended a little bit. I loved Amy not because of she's older than me (even she is around a few days than me) but I loved her for what she is. Lenny still stood up in silence. I don't know maybe he needs my permission to sit the booth there. I said "Permission to come aboard accepted" and smile towards him although he was being a bit cheeky with his jokes during our 'board meeting'. Meaning getting drunk late at night at our work place and drinking on the rooftop of our office.

~To be continued

Six Degrees of Separation (Part 1: Broken Heart)

The first part was the most painful at first for me. Because I have to face the fact that she's no longer here with me. I still remember that I used to smoke just half a pack a day but since the day she left, I desire more and more to keep me intoxicated and not thinking about our break up.

 I will get up every morning and talk a walk in the middle of 4:00 a.m and see the Manhattan skyline while waiting for the dawn to come. Seriously, I can't really sleep at all because I am in pain and I can't sleep with a broken heart. I hit my jack and the bartender Joe greeted me and ask "What do you want for today?" "Just, one Famous Grouse. Neat!" ordering my favorite scotch while lighting up a stick of Red Marlboro that I bought last night. Damn, it was the last one I had and seriously I have to buy another pack before I head to work today.

"For God sake Daniel, stop smoking and get some sleep." Said Joe and he tries to take my lighter away from me after he done finished making my drink.  I almost explode but I calm my nerves down as I said to him slowly "What should I do Joe? I loved her so much. She was my whole life and now, I lost my world." 

Joe pat my back and sit next to me as my tears start kissing my cheeks and fall to the bar table. "Danny, you're gonna be okay... Don't worry about it. Amy isn't that hot. You have scored chicks ten times hotter than her. She's totally a strong 5 while you my man, you're a solid ten. haha!" His words tickle me a little bit there and we talk about crazy stuff until it was almost 7 a.m. After 4 drinks and 7 stick of ciggies I lit up thanks to Joe by the way, I go and prepared myself as I have feel better, I think.                                                     ~To be continued

Six Degrees of Separation (Prologue)

Hi again peeps and Assalamualaikum! It is me again, Muhammad Shakir, Le INFP. It has been like sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long since I updated this blog and I literally just saw a dead raccoon in my blog here. Haha! (Just kidding) So, first of all I would like to apologize to all of you for not updating my blog these days, I guess I have been busy with my assignments and whatnot around here. Plus, I have started my own new obsession which is the pumping some proteins to my joints and all if you know what I am saying. So, today I will treat all of you with some good vibes but a bit sad. This is a short story about a guy who's facing a tough break up and let us know the six steps that he face during the separation period.

The Six Degrees of Separation. What is it actually? Well no one knows. Haha! But all I understand about this six parted theory is it is the 6 step that human being would take after they stop being in whatever kind of relationships. Either it is love, friendship or anything. So, I will be talking about my own experiences related to this situation or theory which I always face before. This is my own Six Degrees of Separation. 

I remember my own six degrees of separation just like it was yesterday, painful yet vivid. Yes, I still can feel the pain until now and no one ever known behind all of those smiles I thrown, deep inside the heart is beating in pain. I read books and articles about break ups and all. Watch the shows talking about giving my spirit a boost. I remember as I couldn't take it anymore I would go out of my house and sip a smoke until my chest hurts literally. Just to heal what is broken inside. 

But every time, all of my friends and colleagues ask "Dude, I hope you're fine there." And I would carve the best fake smile I could, and say in my fake cheerful voice "I am totally fine bro." They used to go and put their arm on my shoulder and pat while uttering these words to me, "If you need me, just tell me okay? I will be your listening ears and shoulder for you to cry on". But inside I think, I am a guy and I don't wanna cry in front of them as it would make me look like a sissy and I tell my own self suck it up and I mean literally, it means freaking smoke there. 

So, I think I am getting better as I can smoke whenever I want after I broke up with her so, I tell myself "Cheer up bro, no one will tell us what to do after this". What I didn't realize is the reason I started smoking is because of her so, basically without I am thinking of her subconsciously although I know I didn't really notice it. But actually I am not because I am entering the gateway of Six Torture Stage of Separation.                                                                     ~To be continued